Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Just a disclaimer. We are not doctors, we are not medical professionals. We are just two girls who have survived sepsis that are navigating their recovery. If there is anything that you are seriously struggling with, we urge you to contact a gp. And if you think that you might have sepsis, you should seek immediate medical care. As sepsis is life threatening and time critical. We just wanted to pop a little trigger warning in as well that this podcast may contain content that listeners find distressing. Please listen with care and always remember to be kind to yourselves where possible.
[00:00:33] Hi guys and welcome back to the Surviving and Thriving podcast. You are joined today just by myself I'm doing a little solo podcast today because one of our New Year's resolutions was that we wanted to try and get an episode out every week and it's not always possible, obviously due to the commitments of both me and Olivia. But I thought had an idea last night about an episode and we didn't have time to squeeze an episode in this week. So I thought why not just do a little solo podcast and see how it goes. So in today's podcast we're going to be speaking about five things that I would have liked to have known at the beginning of my sepsis recovery. And obviously a lot of these things are in hindsight and with the knowledge that I have now.
[00:01:24] But realistically, that's what this podcast is for.
[00:01:28] And if you're listening to this and you're just starting your sepsis recovery journey, then it's perfectly timed. And I just wanted to go through five things that I think really make a difference in recovery in just making the day to day easier and perhaps things that I wish that I would have known before going through the two years of recovery that I have. So let's basically dive straight into it. These are in no particular order, but I just kind of wrote them down as they came out and we're just going to go through them a little bit today. So the first being mindful movement. And we see a lot of things about mindful movement online and on social media and sometimes it can have a bit of a.
[00:02:24] I guess the way of saying is like, it can be toxic. And I'm not saying that in terms of like mindful movement is toxic, but I think it can be used in a way that is perhaps to shame people who aren't moving. I don't know if that really makes sense, but basically what is mindful movement I guess is. Or what is mindful movement for me? Because obviously it's different for everyone but basically for me, it means moving my body in a way that allows me to just stop thinking about the everyday and, or improve the way I'm feeling, maybe is a good way to put it. So mindful movement can be anything from a dog walk with your family to a full, you know, 25k run, to a HIIT class, to anything that you want it to be. And I think that's the most important part about this being my first tip. Can I say to a new, a new kind of person in recovery from sepsis that the movement is whatever you want it to be as long as you're moving your body in some sense. And obviously there are situations in which this might not be possible for months, years into recovery. But I think it's important that you know, anything is mindful movement. That could be yoga, pilates, going for a five minute walk around your clothes, which is what my movement started with when I came out of hospital. You know, I couldn't even lower myself into a bath, get out of the bath, walk up the stairs without getting out of breath. But I think I'm so in tune with my body as my job as a dancer. And it's always been the case for me that movement allows me to get out of my head, which is why I resonate with this point so much. But I think for anyone, we all know that moving creates endorphins. Endorphins make us happier.
[00:04:47] Simple maths, right?
[00:04:50] And especially at the beginning of recovery, it's a really good checkpoint way to mark your recovery, to be honest, because, you know, you start on the first week in a five minute walk around the block. By the first month you could be doing a half an hour dog walk with your family. And you know, those are little milestones that perhaps that you don't notice but actually are huge. That's a big amount of recovery in a month. And you know, when you put it into perspective like that, it's a really good way to keep an eye on your recovery.
[00:05:22] And again, movement, different movement works for different people. Should I say personally, and I'm sure you guys know this by now. I love doing like high intensity exercise. I love dancing, I love basically trying anything that I can and that brings me happiness, but that might not bring another person happiness to them that might be following along with a yoga stretch. And you know, I think it's all personal and whatever makes you feel good is what's going to work. You know, you don't want to be trying to reach this expectation of others or what other People are doing or achieving because it won't serve you in the correct way. And then basically, you're doing yourself a disjustice because you're trying to do something that won't affect you positively. And let's be honest, at the end of the day, especially whilst we're in recovery, that's all we're aiming to do, right? To stay positive, to stay motivated. So that's my number one point. My second point would be talking and. Or journaling. And I think it's important that we speak about both of these in one point because for some people, talking is a really helpful tool. Speaking to your loved ones about what's happened to you, trying to kind of piece together your journey can be really helpful for others. Speaking to other. Speaking to people about your story can become really painful. And again, everything that you do in your recovery is personal to you. What one person does won't work for you, and what you do won't work for someone else. It's all really personal. And I think for myself, you know, you guys know I love talking. I mean, I'm literally sat here right now basically talking to myself into a microphone. But talking for me has always been something that I've obviously really enjoyed doing. Speaking to other people. I'm a social butterfly. It's my way of expressing myself. But when it comes to recovery and speaking to people, I always felt this really big sense of guilt when speaking to people about my story. I felt as if I was unloading unnecessarily onto them and that I was being a bad friend by speaking to them about how I was feeling. Because at the time, it was a very dark place to be in and I didn't want to drag anyone else into it, which is where I think journaling comes in handy. And obviously I've spoken about on here before that. You know, I've worked really closely with my therapist, and I can't even like the difference between when I first started therapy and now is absolutely astronomical. But we spoke about journaling in a sense, to try and take that guilt element out of me, sharing how I'm feeling in my head. And you can do this the second you wake up, or you could do it just before you go to bed because you're kind of trying to get all your thoughts out before you go to sleep so that we can try and introduce a good sleep pattern again.
[00:08:25] But again, it's a preference to whatever's good to you. One day you might want to talk someone about it, the next day you Might be super in your head and you just want to write something down. But that's my second point and something that I wish. Younger me. I say younger me two years ago. Starting this journey would have like to know that doing that does really help and it's worth it. I'm just going to apologise to you guys if you can hear what's going on outside my house. It seems to be that every single noisy car or motorbike has decided to drive past my house just so I've decided to record this. So apologies for that. So that's number one and two. The third point that I'd want to tell myself at the beginning of my recovery journey would be to spend time with loved ones. And this sounds like a really obvious one, but that doesn't just have to be your family either. That can be your friends, that can be, you know, anyone that you want it to be. But spending time with the people you love allows you to feel supported. And I think that's one of the main things during recovery that is so important, is that you feel supported in whatever way that you need. Being supported doesn't have to be someone holding your hand every step of the way. It might just be someone telling you that, hey, you look a bit better today, like, how are you feeling? And that might completely transform your day from a low day to a higher day. And I think that's really important. I'm super lucky in the fact that I've got the most incredible, I would say, full stop, the most incredible people around me. I don't think that I could have wished for a better support system. My family, my friends, you know, my partner. I just think that everyone has been so incredible and I've been really lucky. And I know that's not the case for everyone. And I don't want to say that without letting you guys know that I am completely aware of how lucky and how grateful I am to have that support. But spending time with people you love can just completely transform your day. And I think all of us know that sometimes perhaps it's not what you think you need. And, you know, there's been lots of time in recovery where all I've wanted to do is lay in bed and just be in my own thoughts. But I think if you're really honest with yourself, you know that that probably isn't the most productive or considerate thing.
[00:10:54] Perhaps you're thinking about other people's emotions over yours and there has to be a balance in that.
[00:11:01] So spending time with your loved Ones that could be, you know, going out to a big family meal or even just something as simple as getting a takeaway with your family. I don't think that there has to be like this big expectation of it, but anything you can do to fill yourself or surround yourself with love is going to be a great tool to help in your recovery.
[00:11:29] Moving on to number four. So we're almost there, guys, I promise. Number four is starting a new hobby. And I've spoken about this a little bit before, but you name it, I have tried it. In my recovery, the main thing that I was trying to achieve was to occupy myself whilst resting. Now I'm.
[00:11:59] How do we go about saying this? I'm a bit of a weirdo in the fact that I cannot rest. And that sounds like I'm being like, I can't rest. I'm so amazing. I just have to do stuff all the time. No, I wish I didn't have this because it actually has jeopardized my recovery a lot. I would say in the fact that if I have a day off, I really like straight away, my mental health starts a spiral, which is so weird to me because I would love to just enjoy a day on the sofa. But alas, it's just who I am, how I'm made, and that is just what we have to roll with. But in my recovery, a lot of the hobbies that I tried to take up were static hobbies. So I've literally got a box of crochet, embroidery, knitting, you name it, coloring books. I have it and I tried everything. And the only thing that stuck for me was reading, which is hilarious because I never read a book in full until I was 17 years old. When I left secondary school, I didn't even read a full book for my GCSEs, which crazy. And now I'm on my ninth book of the year. And the reason that I think reading, I enjoyed reading so much when I got into it was because it allowed me to get out of my head. And that's obviously a big thing that I've said through this whole episode, is that sometimes, you know, you want to be aware of how you're feeling, you want to tap into your emotions, but sometimes you just need to get out of your head and you just need a second where you're not thinking about what's going on, what's happened, what's going to happen, you're just thinking about the now. And reading for me really helped me tap into that. And I still love reading now.
[00:13:56] So I'M glad that I found something. But, you know, finding a new hobby can be different for everyone. The same with this whole episode and I sound like a broken record. But if you're able to achieve more physical things, that might be going back to a childhood hobby that you did, that might be painting that like, it might be something more still. It might be something more physical. It might be a musical instrument. It might be something to do with technology. It can be anything that allows you to.
[00:14:28] Anything that allows you to preoccupy. It's not really the word I'm looking for, but occupy, maybe that's the word. Bloody hell. Occupy your brain in a way that allows it to just take a second to relax.
[00:14:46] And I really recommend this. This is like, probably one of my, like, alongside movement. Starting a new hobby I think can be really helpful. It gives you a sense of accomplishment. It gives you something every day that you can say you've achieved, which in recovery is few and far between. So I think starting a new hobby is probably up there with the top one.
[00:15:09] Finally, last but not least is setting yourself goals or something to look forward to that could be, you know, big or small to start with. That might just be looking forward to a coffee date with your friend or, you know, something that I really set myself was I came up hospital in the November and there was a Harry Styles concert. I know. Ick. A Harry Styles concert in the June of the next year that I really had set myself a goal that, you know, if you can make it to, like always reminding myself when I was in the gym every day doing my rehab, I was like, this will mean that you can stand for the whole duration of the concert. And setting yourself these goals again is allowing yourself to look forward to something. And as amazing as it is to be present during your recovery, because it's really important. And I think that's what helped me to grow and mature a lot as a person.
[00:16:11] Sometimes you have to trick. Trick yourself into just getting through the day. When you're having a really low day, you just have to be like, okay, today might be insert explicit word there. But all in all, I'm looking forward to this and it's going to be amazing. And again, you know, small things like inviting friends round, going out for a walk, I don't know, going to your favorite restaurant. Everything's obviously revolved around food with me because I'm obsessed with Food Confessionals 101 on the podcast. But I think that setting yourself these things to look forward to allows you to really dig Deep during those mundane, boring tasks. You know, those times when you've just come out of hospital and you've got five hospital appointments in the next week, and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is never ending. But this Sunday, I'm going for a Sunday roast with my best friend. Like, there's things to look forward to, and it just allows you to have a positive in a time where perhaps that's hard to imagine in a more personal sense. You know, there might be things that you thought you could be achieving, but you're not. But it doesn't matter because you have this big thing to look forward to.
[00:17:39] I'm kind of rambling now, but I just wanted to recap those five things that we spoke about in this episode. And so those were mindful movement was number one. Talking and journaling was number two. Spending time with loved ones was number three. Starting a new hobby was number four. And the final one was setting things or experiences to look forward to in the future.
[00:18:02] And I guess to round off this podcast, it's been a short and sweet one, but hopefully it's been a. Interesting one to listen to. Is that a few other things that I would tell myself if I was able to give advice to my past self at the beginning of this journey would be that wherever you think you should be, you are exactly in the correct place. And I know that sounds so corny and so what's the word? Predictable. But it's really true in that your. Your recovery journey is your recovery journey. Underline, big fat, bold, capital letter, the word your.
[00:18:49] Your own recovery journey. Someone else might be on a journey that is nothing like yours. And you're going to be on a journey that is nothing like someone else. And no single one is correct. No single one is wrong. You are on a journey, okay? And that might mean that at the beginning of your recovery, it feels slow where someone else has recovered quite quickly, so it might seem. And then you make this massive progression and the other person is really struggling elsewhere. And I think that it's all about.
[00:19:25] How do I say this? It's all about proving to yourself how strong you are. And if you're going through this, I don't care who you are, what you do, you're a strong person. Not everyone could get through what you're going through right now. And, you know, you should be really proud of that. I know. I'm proud of you. And I know that there's so many people around you that are going, wow, I wish I could be as strong as as you are, and that's definitely something to carry with you.
[00:19:58] Also, another thing I would have wanted to tell myself is that progress isn't linear. And again, I'm sure we've all heard that saying before, but it's really true in the fact that you might have a really good few days and then feel like you've backpedaled and some.
[00:20:22] But all in, all in all, if you took, if you zoomed out on the time of your recovery, you are progressing, you are progressing. And that might be slow right now, but you'll get there in your own time, in your own speed.
[00:20:38] Don't set a big expectation on yourself to be at a place because no one is you.
[00:20:48] And this journey that you're on right now, and I remember someone telling me that, oh, everything happens for a reason. And I was literally like, oh, I'm so glad you're on the phone right now, because I would do some not very nice things.
[00:21:06] It's actually very true. And as much as this journey has been frustrating and has tested me, I have never felt as strong in myself as I have now. And I think what a beautiful, what a beautiful thing to say about yourself, you know, and it will just make you all that bit more experienced and stronger in future things that come your way. And, you know, I think I'm rambling now and. But you are doing amazingly well. And whether you think you are or you're not, or you're rolling your eyes at me whilst I'm saying this, if you're listening to this right now, could just be me, could just be me talking to myself. And that is completely fine too, because this helps me just as much as it might help you.
[00:22:01] You're doing a great job. And there'll be a time when you look back on this and be like, wow, that was an awful time. But look, look what I've become. Look how amazing I am. And I guess that's something to take away from this podcast, that you are very much stronger than you think you are. Don't think that was English. Perhaps that wasn't even a full sentence, but you get what I was trying to say.
[00:22:29] I hope that you guys have enjoyed this episode. It's been, I say it's been a short and sweet one. Not sure it has been very short, but hopefully it's been sweet.
[00:22:42] I have got some exciting news to share with everyone in next week's episode and I also want to do kind of a debrief of the sepsis savvy walk that I volunteered at for the UK Sepsis Trust this weekend, but I thought that might be better done on an episode with Olivia. So that's coming your way. And also at this walk this weekend, I met some absolutely incredible, incredible, incredible people that have been touched by sepsis and some of which have agreed to come onto the podcast, which, once we get it all sorted logistically, will be some incredible episodes. And I'm really excited for that. So, yeah, keep your eyes and ears peeled for that. Wishing you a lovely rest of your week, guys. And thank you so much for listening to another episode of the surviving and Thriving podcast. Goodbye.
