Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Just a disclaimer. We are not doctors. We are not medical professionals. We are just two girls who have survived sepsis that are navigating their recovery.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: If there is anything that you are seriously struggling with, we urge you to contact a GP. And if you think that you might have sepsis, you should seek immediate medical care, as sepsis is life threatening and time critical.
[00:00:19] Speaker A: We just wanted to pop a little trigger warning in as well, that this podcast may contain content that listeners find distressing.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Please listen with care and always remember to be kind to yourselves where possible.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: Hi, guys, and welcome back to episode five of the surviving and thriving podcast.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: I am Olivia.
[00:00:40] Speaker A: And I'm Taz. And today we have a very exciting episode for you. First of all, just because you'll be hearing a lot less of my voice, but more importantly, because today we're going to hear all about lovely Olivia's sepsis story. I'm going to give you a little background, guys, and then I'm going to pass the mic, literally, over to Olivia so she can tell you all about her story.
Olivia became unwell in December 2022 with asymptomatic pneumonia, which developed into sepsis. After being told she should go home by the hospital, olivia's partner, Callum, fought for her voice to be heard. Later, Olivia was placed into a medically induced coma that would go on to save her life. I'm going to pass it over to Olivia now. Obviously, for all the listeners, this is exciting for me as well, because I don't know all of. I know Olivia's story, but I don't know, like, all the details. As always, this is a super safe space. So if editing's choppy or anything, just be gracious with us and, yeah, sending all the love to you, and let's get into it.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Oh, thank you so much. Okay, I'm just going to preface this story by saying that obviously, with a traumatic experience. My memory is very foggy. Things come to me sometimes for the first time when I'm talking about it, and I'm not the best storyteller.
I get all confused in my brain. So I'm just gonna go for it and try my best.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: You're gonna be great.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: I'm here to help, something that's quite confusing to me. I'll do my best to tell the story as well as possible.
Let's start, I guess, from. From right at the beginning, when I started to feel unwell. So it was a Wednesday, and I had woken up with this pain in my hip.
And I used to suffer with sciatica so I thought, oh, my God, it's just a flare up of sciatica. That's what I initially thought. I had no other symptoms. I was just in agony in my hip. I couldn't walk properly.
So that started, like, Wednesday night, like dinner time, nighttime. It was very painful.
I think I took some paracetamol or something, just went to bed and thought, I'll feel fine in the morning.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: Can I have got in there really quickly just for the listeners?
That pain that came on, did it come on like a ten out of ten straight away, or was it like an ache that turned it. Do you know what I mean? Just so that the listeners kind of.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: Came on straight away. It was like. It was. It was like if anyone's ever had sciatica, it was sciatica on steroids. It was so. It was like ten. And I just thought, oh, God, this is a huge flare up. It wasn't like a twinge that kept coming and going. It was like, straight away, constant. Straight away. Yeah, because it was nighttime. I just went to bed and thought, this will be fine in the morning. Like a couple of paracetamols sort me out of. So I woke up Thursday morning. I get up quite early. I messaged my manager and said, I'm not going to be able to come in. I feel awful, and that is not like me at all. I never have a day off work.
Yeah. Just so out of character for me.
So my sister had just had her baby and he was five days old, so I was at home, like, washing his stuff and everything.
I was downstairs with my mum and Callum at the time, and there's actually a video I've shared of me walking around the table in my tart pajamas, and I look up and say, it's so bad. And that was taken at, like, 07:00 in the morning. They both went to work and then I was home alone all day and the pain was so bad.
I spoke to Callum's dad, who's. He's, like, suffered with sciatica and everything before, so he was like, do this. It will, like, take. If it's sciatica, it will take the pain straight away. Like, it's one of those movements that you can do that just, like, relieves the pain. So got on the floor, did that. It was the most awful thing I've ever done. I was stuck on the floor for 40 minutes. I couldn't get up because I was just in so much pain.
Then I was like, right, I need. I need something. So I actually posted a picture on my story on Instagram and said, anyone know, like, a chiropractor who can help me relieve my sciatica symptoms?
And then someone replied saying, oh, this place is really, really good. They might have an appointment they, like, they usually can fit people in. So I rang up and said to them, like, I'm in agony. I really, really need help. They said to me they had an appointment at like, 04:00. So I rang Callum and said, they've got an appointment. He took me down there, had to walk me to the car, basically, like he was. I had my arm around him and he was, like, carrying me to the car and then went there. He said to me, you've got a pelvic joint dysfunction.
You'll be, be fine tomorrow. He clicked me a couple of ways, which is horrific thinking about it, because I was in so much pain. He asked me to walk down the corridor and back and was like, how are you feeling? And you know when you're really uncomfortable and you're just like, oh, yeah. Like, it feels better. But in my heart, I was like, you've not, like, touched the sides. It was so bad. Anyway, 60 pound down from that, went home. He gave me a sick note for a day and just said, you'll be, don't go to work tomorrow, but you'll be fine the next day.
And a lot of people, like, in my comments on TikTok, have always been like, don't ever go to a chiropractor. And I just want to say that, like, be kind to people when they say that they were doing anything to try and rid the pain. Like, I know better now, so I would do better. I wouldn't see a chiropractor. If I had those symptoms again, I'd ring 111 straight away. But, like, just like, I had a lot of people quite aggressively, like, why did you see a chiropractor? It's the most stupid thing you could do. And I was like, okay, well, when you're in that amount of pain, you do anything.
So I went home from the chiropractor with Callum, who is my partner, and my mum was there with her partner at the time, and my sister, who had just had my nephew Arthur, who was five days old, was there with her partner and Callum was there. So there was a lot of, like, the atmosphere in the room was lovely because we were all, like, obsessed with Arthur and everything. And I sat on the chair and I was holding him and I don't really have, like, great memories of that. Like, I can't really remember it? But I got photographs to show that I was sat there holding him.
The minute they left, the pain, like, spiked. So I don't know if I was just, like, suppressing it while they were there, but the pain was horrific. I started crying. I said, like, honestly, this is the worst pain I've ever felt. I couldn't move. Callum and my mum were trying to, like, lift me off the sofa and I said to them, I literally can't move. You can't lift me. Like, it was so painful. Screaming, crying.
So Callum rang 111 and, like, described the symptoms and said, it sounds like she's got really bad sciatica. Will prescribe her some medication and, like, just see, see how that goes. But that's really all you can do for sciatica. So this was around, like, seven, eight o'clock at night. So Callum had driven to, like, the local Asda or something to get the prescription, but he was gone for ages.
I have a difficult relationship with my mum anyway, but she said to me, like, you can't sleep down here. You're gonna have to, like, try and get upstairs somehow. Don't ask me, don't know why, but I lived in the loft in my house. It was up two flights of stairs. So I was just thinking, how am I going to get up there? But I've got a photo of me on the sofa downstairs alone and I'm like, I just look so out of it. Don't know what I was doing.
So I just thought, right, let's get myself upstairs, I need to go to bed. Crawled up the stairs, took me about 40 minutes. Callum come back about an hour later and was like, how? How on earth she got up the stairs? Like, how does she do that alone? Anyway, he gave me the tablets, which I think, if I'm right, they prescribe, like, naproxen, diazepam, cocodamol, which is. I think it's pretty. You said the same last week, right?
[00:08:27] Speaker A: Yeah, just for the listeners, naproxen's an anti inflammatory and then the other two are painkillers, which is pretty standard, like a one one one consultation.
[00:08:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
So took those and then, oh, I don't remember this, but apparently had a conversation with Callum Thursday night. Now, this is Thursday. Thursday night, I had a conversation with Callum and he said to me, we need to ring an ambulance. And I was like, no, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. And he said, we need to bring an ambulance. And we basically agreed that if I woke up and was still the same or worse, we'd ring an ambulance and I said, that's fine. Like, I was at that point, I was like, I need help. Went to bed Thursday, don't remember falling asleep, don't remember waking up. All I remember is having these weird, vivid memories of Callum standing next to the bed and he was on the phone to the ambulance, like, basically saying what my symptoms were, but I was just laying there, like, really, like, in and out and everything and really weird. Like, Callum took quite a lot of photos for me so I could, like, remember, I think, and in the photograph there's a Starbucks cup and he bought me a coffee. He'd gone to get something for me and got a coffee and a muffin because I think I hadn't eaten for, like, two days now. So I think he was like, that's what my favorite thing was. I think he'd gone and got me it and I. I ate the muffin, drank the coffee, don't remember it, but then vomited all of the tablets. So my sick was like, bright blue everywhere.
So vomiting in the pain, basically.
So he rang the ambulance at about eight. They came at one, they came upstairs, done everything that they needed to do and were like, we're not really sure, to be honest. Like, her symptoms, really, really awful pain in her head. We're not really sure what to say, but we'll take her in because obviously, like, she's. It's debilitating. She can't go to the toilet on her own. She can't do anything, basically, like, for herself. So we'll take her. They offered me to put me on a stretcher and carry me down the stairs, or I was able to, if I was able to, as long as it needed, I could bump myself down the stairs. I opted for the bumping myself down the stairs so that I could manage the pain. So they gave me gas and air, which I will say now is the only thing that helped my pain. And I don't know if that's because I was just, like, out of it and the pain then I couldn't feel, but it's the only thing that worked. So I had gas and air that I got down the first flight of stairs and then I was like, I need the toilet now. I've got here. Went to the toilet.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: We go to the toilet.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I did. I was just like, I need the toilet. So I. For a bit, I'm not sure if I went to the toilet, right, like, I need to go, but I'm not sure if that's because I was like, I was, like, making jokes and, like, being all funny because I was on the gas and air.
[00:11:12] Speaker A: That's so funny.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: Her perfume smells so nice and what does she wear? And I was talking about my uggs and everything. I don't know what was going on, but I was like, I think I saw the toilet. I need the toilet. So I sat on the toilet for a while, then got. Then got downstairs, was in an ambulance. I was then blue lighted to QA, which is Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth.
And I remember, like, looking up, thinking, oh, my God, I'm in an ambulance. Like, I've never thought this would ever happen to me.
Yeah. And Callum said, like, we were going really fast and he was quite scared, I think, because he was like, this is crazy. Like, it doesn't really. Never really happens. And if it happens, you normally got, like, a broken bone or something. Right? And it's, like, an emergency, whereas this was an emergency, but we had no idea what was going on.
Got to QA and our hospital here is just notorious for, like, long waiting times. It's awful. We have people. I used to work at QA and we'd have people sat outside for longer than 24 hours sometimes. Really, really awful.
And the lovely paramedic, they were both amazing ladies. They were like, we've called through to a and e and it's really, really busy, so we're going to take her to the emergency care center and hopefully get her in there straight away. I'm not really sure what the difference is between the two, but we've got an emergency care center.
So I went in there and was just laid there all day. I don't remember any of that, but just people coming in and out. I had two cannulas put in each arm. Don't remember that. And then they were like, right, we're going to take her for an MRI, try and figure out what's wrong with her hip. They mrI'd my spine, which I still don't know why, because I kept saying, it's my hip, but they mrI'd my spine, which came back inconclusive, obviously, because there was nothing wrong with my spine. Thank God. Yeah. Then my dad turned up and they sat with me in the emergency care center all a Friday night. And then on Saturday, I got moved to the acute medical unit. So I was just there all day. Don't remember any of that. Like, I have, like, a couple of really faint memories of my mum being there with Callum. And then my friend turned up because her nan was in hospital, but I can't like, I. It's like a second memory. Like, I can't remember a conversation I had or anything. And then.
And then Callum went home at about 09:00 Saturday night and he told me now that he spoke to a couple of people, like, the. The doctors and nurses and everything, and they were like, can't figure out what's wrong with her. Like, we think we can send her home. Like, we're just going to do a couple more blood tests. Like, whatever they were doing, I don't really know if they were doing blood tests or whatever, but we're gonna do a couple more tests and, like, we think she can go home because we can't figure out what it is. And Callum was like, you cannot send her home. I'm not having it. She can't go home. She can't. She can't move, she can't do anything for herself. How could you send her home? She can't even hold a conversation with anybody. She's barely conscious.
And he's a very strong character and really, really, like, if I didn't have him, I know I would have died because he, like, really advocated for me and really put his foot down. Was like, you cannot. She's not going home.
So Callum left me at about 09:00 Saturday night. And he said on his way out of the medical unit, they said to him, your phone needs to be on loud. We never phone for good news. If your phone rings, like, you need to answer it, which is a bit sinister, but whatever.
So I went to bed at about nine. I've got a picture that I also share of me laying with my green gown on. Callum said, send me a picture of you. So I sent him that.
Went to bed, woke up at about 03:00 Sunday morning, pitch black.
But I remember just being surrounded by. Must have been ten people stood around me. Nurses, doctors, consultants, senior house officers. I remember just looking at everything in. What's going on. I had one lady this side of me trying to put a cannula in my arm and I was bleeding a lot, which I think that's a. I think if you've got sepsis or something, it's like quite common that you bleed and they can't. I don't know. I've read something about that that happened.
[00:15:15] Speaker A: To me as well when I was in Internet.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: It took forever.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think there's. I can't. I don't know. Obviously I'm not medically trained, but apparently that's like a link to that. The fact that okay, you bleed, and, like, I don't know. It's difficult to cannulate, but anyway, there's blood everywhere. I kept saying, this is really painful, please, can you stop? And she's like, it's really important we get this. Can you. You're really, really unwell. And at that point.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: At this point, are you. Sorry, just to recap, at this point, obviously, you're in, like, your consciousness is, like, what's the word? Am I trying to look for? You're in and out of consciousness.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: But still, the real only symptom you have is the pain in your hip. You're still not unwell.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: I'm not. I've got no unwell feelings whatsoever. There's no, like, pain in my chest. I'm not flu y, I'm not snotty like, my voice is. You know, like, the only. The only symptom I still have at this moment is the pain in my hip. I haven't moved from the hospital bed. Like, I haven't for two days. I haven't got up, walked anywhere. I can't get up, can't move. I've not sat out of bed.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: Did you have a catheter in?
[00:16:24] Speaker B: No, not at that point, no.
So.
And I think I. I think I, like, passed urine once.
For me, it's very uncommon. Like, I go, I drink so much and, like, pass urine quite a lot.
[00:16:40] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: So quite uncommon for me.
So, yeah, I remember just waking up and being surrounded by all of these medical staff thinking, like, what is going on? At that point, I had the two, like, you know, the pegs of oxygen, but I'd had that in for the. For a day. And I. So I don't know if sometimes I know that they just give people, like, we gave people oxygen if they were, like, sort of in and out of consciousness and things.
I'm not really sure because, like I said, I don't really know from a medical point of view. And I've not had a debrief on what happened to know, like, what was going on and what their rationale for that was. But.
So I then, like, the next thing I then remember is Callum. And my, like, first of all, Callum. And then my dad was there standing at the end of the bed, and it was still dark. And I remember the look on their faces were like, oh, my God. Like, what is wrong with her? Because from, like, the story that Callum tells is that his phone rang at about 03:00 in the morning. Half free. He was told Olivia's breathing's really really bad. You need to get up here as soon as possible. And he said he got to a and E in about, in about. No, not sorry a and E. He got to the hospital in about five minutes, parked his van up, ran in, and they were just like, her breathing is terrible. We're not, like, we're not sure what to do with her at this point. So they were just stood at the end of my end of my bed, looking at me like, oh, my God, like, don't know what to do to help her. And then they said, we need to take her to intensive care. We're not, like, we're still not sure what's going on, but we need to take her to intensive care.
So now, looking back on my notes that I've got, my blood pressure had dropped really low and my heart rate was really, really high. So they said, on the way to intensive care, we're going to x ray her chest. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it was because of the heart rate. I don't know.
[00:18:28] Speaker A: They do that for. If it was your breathing, they do that for your lungs as well. So it might have just see what's happening with that.
[00:18:34] Speaker B: So really weird as well. I have this really, really weird memory of them, like, pushing me into an x ray thing and just like, being laid out and they're like, sit up straight, sit up as straight as you can. And I was just like, had no idea what was going on. Took an x ray over my chest and then they took me to intensive care. Callum and my dad were with me and it must have been about 404:00 in the morning at this point. I had a scan on my heart to see what was going on with my heart and making sure everything was okay there, which was fine.
Then the next thing I know is I'm laying there and Callum said that the consultant was looking at the clock and then looking at me and looking at the machine. And he kept looking at the clock and then looking at me again and he kept looking at the machine and he was like, callum was like, be honest, like, what? What is going on? Like, I need to know what's going on with her. And he said, she's gonna die if I don't induce her into a coma. Like now, she's gonna die.
I'm okay.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: No, you're fine. Take a minute.
[00:19:40] Speaker B: So Callum was like, do it and you need to do it now. Like, you have to do it now.
Because he said, like, she's just, like, her organs are all failing. Like, if we don't do this, like, immediately. Like, she's going to die. Callum was like, you need to do it right now. And the guy, I think because the guy had had Callum say, like, you need to do it now.
He was like, right, you need to give us some time. Then obviously, you don't want to watch this procedure because it's really invasive and horrible, and we wouldn't do that to Olivia either.
So they were like, you need to say bye to her, and we need to do this as quickly as possible. So the last thing I remember is my dad, like, holding my head. He's like, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. I promise. We'll be here. We'll be here. Then Callum was, like, holding my head.
So we're gonna be here when you wake up, like, we promised. We'll be here.
And Callum kept saying to me, you've got this. You've got this. You're gonna be fine. And then the anesthesiologist was like, hi, Olivia. Like, this is my name. Don't remember what his name was. I'm just gonna, like, I'm just letting you know that we're putting you to sleep for a little bit. You're gonna be fine. I promise you. You're gonna be fine. And I was like, apparently I didn't panic physically, but in my head, I was like, what do you mean? Like, what do you mean for a bit? Like, how long is a bit?
[00:20:54] Speaker A: Yeah. It's so hard when you feel so helpless in that situation as well.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: Yeah. I was like, how long? How long is this gonna be? Like, what do you mean? And then I. I think they do that. And then they just do it straight away. Right, so that you're not panicking. So I think it was, like, 10 seconds, and then I was just, like, sedated.
So then I think, like, an hour went by Callum, and my dad was sat in Costa, that's downstairs, because they weren't obviously allowed to wait with me. And then, yeah, they came back up and were like.
Like, obviously hadn't seen anything like it in their lives. I was obviously ventilated. I was like. I was hooked up to, like, five different machines. I had, like, cannulas in my arms that have, like, different bits in it so they can put, like, different medications in each bit. Right?
And that was it. I spent luckily, as well, like, it could have been so much worse, but luckily I spent five days in a coma. And then my memories from waking up from that, I don't really remember. I just remember they do these things called sedation holds when you're in a coma. So from what I can gather, they basically hold the sedation or give you less, and you come around a bit, but it's to, like, stop you or try to prevent you spending longer in a coma to help with your brain and everything, because obviously that can cause brain damage and things, and it's to give them a chance to see how you'd be coming out of it. So, like, if you. If they do a sedation hold and you're, like, quite aware of what's going on and you've woken up and you're looking around, I think they think, oh, she might be able to come out. So they tried to bring me out a couple of times, but every time they took the, like, they brought me out of sedation. I was sick and also I was vomiting, but I had, like, the tube down my throat and everything. So that I do have a couple of, like, not really clear memories, but of being, like, sort of awake. And there's a photograph of me and I'm awake, looking around and I'm like, panic, I look like I'm crying and I've got a tube down my throat, which is just horrific. Obviously I couldn't speak and I'm thinking, why can't I talk? And I'm not really sure what's going on, but I'm awake with this, like, massive tube down my throat and I was on that high flow oxygen like you had as well, which is just horrific in itself. It's so hot and sweaty.
So they tried to bring me out of that couple of times and I was sick and then they rang Callum and were like, we're going to try again. So he came up and they like you to be with so he can, like, comfort me and everything. They bought me out of it. I don't really remember, like, the rest of that day, but I remember the night's sleep. I would always say the night's sleep I had that day that they woke me up was the worst night of my life. Like, the time wasn't moving. I couldn't, like, like, my brain just wasn't working properly. I couldn't even lift the tv remote. I couldn't work. Tv remote, you're on your own because it's nighttime, it's dark. Like, I then was maybe TMI, but they'd, like, tried to give me laxatives to, like, basically flush you free, right, to get rid of, like, all of the medication and stuff in your body. And then I was going to the toilet every half an hour, but because I was still in pain with my hip, because that's another thing I'll come on to in a minute. That pain hadn't gone, so I was then, like, getting up, getting on the commode and then getting back in bed and then ringing the bell because I needed the toilet again. And then I. At one point, I was like, leave me on here because this is really, like, I'm so tired.
[00:24:28] Speaker A: I did that too.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: I was like, leave me here. Leave me on this commode. I'm happy to just sit here because it was just too much getting in there. When you're that exhausted, like, getting in.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: And out of bed, it does, like, literally takes everything out of you as well, doesn't it?
[00:24:40] Speaker B: Yeah. And then my dad rang and they were like, oh, can we. This was quite early in the morning because it was still dark outside. And at this point, something. They needed to put another cannula in me, I think, or something had gone wrong with the one in my arm. So they were trying. They couldn't get it in my arms. So then we're like, trying to get it in my foot.
So I was sat on the commode while they were, like, trying to get this lady laying on the floor with a torch on, like, trying to get this cannula in my foot and. And I said to my dad, I was crying, I was like, I just can't do it anymore. This is just like the most pain I've ever been in. I'm just. I've got nothing left in me. And I said to lady, can you just, like, not. Because it's really, really sore. She's like, I'm so sorry, but you have to have it. Have to have it in. But, you know, at that point, I.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: Was like, can you just not. That is literally my favorite thing of the whole story. You just not.
[00:25:24] Speaker B: I've given up. I was just like, I just can't do. I can't. I've got nothing more.
Anyway, she managed to get in my foot, so that was fun. I had, like, my dad and Callum were like, oh. Because it was like, I've got quite veiny feet and they were like, this thing just, like, flopping out of your foot. Gross.
So that was the worst night of my entire life. Like, I can't even describe how horrific it was. Every single time I looked at the clock, it was like eleven. And then I'd be like, I speed 5 hours. Now I look back, it'd be like 1105. Like, the time had just not moved.
And then I had quite, like, big turnaround one morning. I'll never forget her. Her name's Kim. She was my nurse, and she came in, and she was quite like, she's quite stern with me. She's like, right. Why are you laying down? And she said, you've had pneumonia. You've had a chest infection. Why are you laying down? What's the worst place, worst position you could be in? Right. Sit you up. And she wasn't. I was like, oh, no. She's like, she was not having any of it. She's like, livia, you're 24. Why? Like, come on, you can do this. And I was like, no, I can't. Because she was like. I've always said, like, if I didn't have her that day, I don't think I would have had the, like.
Like, what's the word? Like, even the fight in me to just be like, I can get better. I'm gonna be fine.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Especially when you're in that. I feel like sometimes to be cool, to be kind, is, like, the way you have to be because. Yeah, at that point, when you feel so weak, all you want to do is just, like, lay down and do nothing. But they obviously know best.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And you get that, like, patient syndrome where you're like, I'm patient. I'll just lay here.
[00:26:53] Speaker A: I'll just lay here and wait on me. Yeah.
[00:26:56] Speaker B: Need to get up. So. And then she was like, you haven't eaten. Because obviously then I had the tube out of my throat, and I was being fed through, like, the tube. So she was like, you need to eat normally now. Like, it's really important that you start eating. Like, you've obviously lost a lot of weight and everything over the last five days. It's really important you start eating.
So she was like, eat the whole banana. And then she was almost like, eat that, and we can do this until you've eaten that we can't do. Like, even, like, watch tv. Watch tv when you've done. You know, like, she was just giving me, like, little goals to reach. And then I did. I remember eating the banana and being like, I've eaten it all. And she was like, well done.
And then she was like, well, I think we should get you out of bed today. And I was like, no. And she's like, no, we're getting out of bed. Come on, you can do it. She was amazing. Like, what? What a woman she is. I'll never forget her. And so I sat in my chair and Callum and my dad came to see me, and, like, I was just sat up trying to eat, and they bought me, like, some of my favorite foods and everything, and I was eating quite a lot.
And so from there, like, I was then piecing together, like, what had happened. And Kim wrote me a timeline. So for everyone listening, thinking, like, what happened then? Like, how did you get that unwell? I had asymptomatic pneumonia, which is pneumonia with no symptoms, which I didn't have any of, which is quite rare, which is how I developed sepsis.
And the pain in my hip was later discovered that, because I kept saying, this pain isn't going. It's really, really awful. While I was in intensive care. So they took me down for an MRI, MRI'd my hip, and they said I had sepsis in the hip, which we've discussed as, like, sepsic arthritis, which isn't the right term, apparently, but that's just. It's just easier for me to refer to it as that because it's.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: It's easier for the listeners as well. Yeah.
[00:28:38] Speaker B: Like, we're not, like, any medical professional probably say it's not correct, but, like, for us, that's just what it was.
So quite scary that I had pneumonia and had no idea, because I know, like, if people have pneumonia, normally you can be hospitalized and you're quite unwell. But I just had literally zero symptoms. And then. So I spent, in total, 14 days in intensive care, and then I was moved to the orthopaedic ward, where I spent six days, and I was just bed bound. I was in a room on my own with a toilet and a shower, but I was on my own, basically. Like, don't get up. You just need bed rest and everything.
Yeah, that's it. And then that's that.
[00:29:24] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's it, guys. No, I'm joking.
I think it's important for us, especially when we're doing these episodes, to split it up into kind of pre admission admission and post admission, because I think that sometimes, obviously, like, I hate to say it like this, but, like, the juiciest bit of the story is obviously when you're in hospital, and that's the most scary part. But we've always said, and we've always discussed that perhaps even the recovery and the post sepsis is harder than the actual, like, having sepsis and fighting for your life.
[00:30:00] Speaker B: Yeah. I will be really, really real with everyone, and I don't like trigger warning here. I don't want to trigger anybody. But I looking back, like, all right, so I came out of hospital on the 20 December, that December, end of December, January, February, March. I really wanted to die. I was just like, I don't want to be here. Like we said in the last episode, like, if this was what surviving meant, why would I want to be here? Like, this is so miserable, I can't do anything.
I went. So I went, basically, like I've said a few times, I've got a bit of a difficult relationship with my parents, but my consultant on orthopedics advised me not to go. Like, do not be anywhere with stairs if you can help it. He said, if you can get, like. So I moved to my dad's flat and my dad moved to his girlfriend's, which was really kind of him. But my dad's flat was up one flight of stairs and once I was there, everything was on one level. So Callum carried me upstairs and then I was on one level.
So they said, that's, like, ideal because, you know, you don't want to be going up and down the stairs and your recovery.
So I moved there and then Callum, my boyfriend, self employed, so he had to go back to work pretty much straight away because he was like, I.
[00:31:17] Speaker A: Mean, if I don't work, we don't earn. Yeah, yeah.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: And he was like, I've not worked for the last month. Beth had just had her baby, so she was in, like, obviously, a newborn bubble, which I completely get. She did spend a lot of time with me, but she had her own stuff going on.
My best friend lives. Her name's Morgan, she lives in London. So she's. She was back teaching.
So I was pretty much alone for months, like, with a couple of visitors and everything. But I used to just get up in the morning, sit and watch tv all day, eat and then, like, go to bed. But then I couldn't sleep because obviously can't sleep. It's like a close up.
[00:31:56] Speaker A: Yeah, the sleeping. I feel like if you can go a bit more into depth that, because I didn't speak about that much in my episode, but it is the worst.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: I was getting to the point it was like ruining my life and not saying that in, like, it's not funny. I'm not saying that in a funny way, it was really ruining my life. Like, I couldn't sleep at all. Like, I'd be laying in bed and I wouldn't fall asleep till three and then I'd wake up at seven by lay and, like, sometimes I think, right, I'll just go through and watch some tv because I was on crutches at this point. So I'd get my crutches and walk through and like sit and watch tv, but then I'm so tired, but I just can't fall asleep.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: It's the, it's the strangest feeling, isn't it? And I think that part of that as well comes from like the routine in hospital of like, I don't know how you felt, but when I was in hospital, like I slept in the day and was awake at night. Like if I slept, it was in the day. Like, I'd never sleep at night. And then when I got home I was like, oh, everyone's awake during the day, so now I need to stay awake during the day, but I can't sleep at night so I'm just not sleeping.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: I know. And you're just literally like, you'll have like maybe a half an hour nap during the day and that's it. Yeah, I think it's the, like you said, it's intensive care because there is no chance you're getting a wink of sleep there. It's like, especially not where I was, like the poor man next me who was really unwell, screaming, crying and there was like just noises and you know that like noise and intensive care, that machine that just goes off and on and it's just so loud. Like I don't think people will ever understand. Like that place does not sleep.
[00:33:41] Speaker A: Or when you're like pulse thing falls off your finger and it starts going beep.
Oh my God, I'm dying.
[00:33:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. And like saying that as well, you just reminded me like when I, when they bought me off the, they obviously took the, um, took me off the ventilator and I was on high flow oxygen and then they said, we think we can take you off the high flow oxygen. So I was then sat with just like the little, the cannula.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:07] Speaker B: And then they took me off of that and I remember laying in bed at night watching my machine, you know, with the Orlando.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: I used to do that.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: What is that called?
[00:34:16] Speaker A: Um, I actually don't know. But basically it's got all of your observations, it's got your blood oxygen. Yeah, like everything on there.
[00:34:23] Speaker B: Watch it. Because I'd be like, oh my God, please don't like put me back in a coma and please don't tell me I need that high flow oxygen again. I know, and it's like I'm saying that, going, haha, please don't know. It's not funny because I actually just thought I was going to die. Again. But, like, I was laying there thinking, oh, my God, like, if I'm. If I don't, if I stop watching that, I'm gonna die. Because if I. If it goes up, I can stop myself breathing so heavy.
[00:34:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: I was just literally watching it like a hawk, constantly, like, just staring at it.
But I'd just be. I think they would were a bit like, what is she doing? Because I'd be sat up in intensive care at, like, 03:00 in the morning eating mince pie. Just like, mince pie and everyone else, like, there's other people that are asleep and I'm like, how are you doing? Yeah, I just think it's impossible. And then, like, I don't. I think you said about some guy came in who'd had an accident. Right. Do you remember? Do you remember saying that? Yeah, I have a similar thing. So you'll just sat. You're, like, laying there trying to relax, and then you'll have a burst through the door. And it's the ambulance service bringing in somebody who need, like, needs care. And it's just like, no, there's no.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: Rest there, is there, like, CPR. All the things that you'd never want to see. You have to see. Yeah, it's so.
[00:35:34] Speaker B: So, yeah, I just couldn't sleep when I came out of hospital.
I had. I think I've still got a thing on my phone where I had all of my medications written out, like, everything I need to take.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: What, at the right times?
[00:35:49] Speaker B: Yeah. So I've got on CO2, which is an anti. What's the word?
[00:35:55] Speaker A: Anti inflammatory.
[00:35:57] Speaker B: No, it's like a. For infection. So.
[00:35:59] Speaker A: So it's just antibiotic.
[00:36:01] Speaker B: Antibiotic, yeah. Thank you. That's the word. I had coachamoxazole twice, two times every day. And then I had gabapentin and iron and paracetamol because I'm really iron deficient. But I'd have the alarms in my phone, like, at every single time that they need to go off.
[00:36:16] Speaker A: I've still got mine all saved as well.
[00:36:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Gonna keep in there. But it was just like every, like. And then it would be like, okay, you need one of them a day. Cause, like, the tablets are insane how many I had to take.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: Yes. Well, you moved on to oral antibiotics as soon as you came out of hospital.
[00:36:31] Speaker B: Yeah, because they were trying to do a. They were trying to basically fit me with a PICC line because they're a lot kinder to the body because you don't have to constantly be changing your cannula.
[00:36:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: Because in hospital, your cannula has to be changed every 72 hours, but mine were being changed every day because my veins were collapsing, because obviously they had so many cannulas in them and then that never happened. And then I spoke to. Because I used to work at the hospital, spoke to a guy who was on the vascular access team, which is basically, like, we would have, like, PITC lines and everything. And he said to me, so out of QA hospital, there's like, however many patients. Can't even imagine how many. There's two people in the hospital that can do PICC lines. And he was like, so you probably didn't get one because there's no one there.
[00:37:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: So, yeah, I never got one of those. So I was just. My cannulas have been changed every day, which is horrific.
And then they sent me home on oral antibiotics because they were going to send me home with the PICC line and then get a nurse to come and change it every day. That's what I was meant to have drained. They were like, we can't do that because there's no one to come and change it for you, which is great.
[00:37:44] Speaker A: And also there's a risk of infection with that as well, like, when they can't keep an eye on it.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: Every sanitary. Yeah. So, yeah, I had. Did you have cotamoxazole?
[00:37:54] Speaker A: No, I had amoxicillin and another one. Oh, clindamycin.
[00:37:59] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, so that's. But that's, like, so many times a day, isn't it?
[00:38:03] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I think I was tape at one point, I was taking 18 tablets a day. I was just rattling. I was rattling as I walked.
A joke.
[00:38:13] Speaker B: But, yeah, so that was that.
And then, yeah, I just remember thinking, like, this is so awful, I can't do anything. I had a car at my mum's that I couldn't drive. I wasn't allowed to go out alone.
I had no idea of when I could maybe go back to work. I loved the gym, so couldn't go to the gym. So, like, my only source of, like, making my mental health better was the gym. I couldn't go there. I had none of my own stuff, really, because, like, Callum used to just go to my mom's and, like, get bags of stuff that I needed. But you're just not in your.
I feel like your home comforts are, like, really important.
[00:38:53] Speaker A: You're not settled.
[00:38:56] Speaker B: So I just. Them months to me, like, January, February, March was awful. Like, just all I. You know, when you look back and you actually could really do with not ever thinking about that ever again.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: And four months is a long time. Like you, like we say so flippantly, like, January, February, march. That's a long time to be in your own thoughts and struggle. Like, it's a long time.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And I, like, when I was in intensive care, I remember this lady, I can't remember who she was, but I must have been like days after waking up from the coma, and she was like, you must have such a new lease of life. And I was like, uh, shut the hell up.
But then I remember thinking, like, why don't I, like, I should be grateful. Like, I should feel like that it's come now, because I do feel like, and I'm quite a spiritual person, so I do believe that, like, you and me and people who have survived and being given like, second chances have a purpose to be here. Like, whether that big or small part, like, be a big or small purpose. Like, there is a reason that we're here, because if there wasn't, like, our time would have been up.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: So I do now think, okay, like, I know that, like, I need to like make every opportunity and make most of it. Yeah. Whereas in those months, I couldn't even think about that. Yeah. So, yeah, I went back to work in like March, which, like I always say, probably was way too soon, but I was just desperate for some of my life back because it felt like normality.
And to be fair, like, looking back, I was going in for like 3 hours a day and much, really.
But it was just the, like, going in and having that, like, routine.
But I will say that that time, like most awful time of my life, like, I would do anything to not have to ever relive that game. It's awful.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: And just like for knowledge of everyone. And for me, when I came up hospital, I actually spent, they like discharged me, but they were like, just so you know, you're gonna be in the hospital like all the time for checkups and consultant and. But if I'm thinking correctly, you actually didn't have that much support from the hospital or appointments or catch ups, did you?
[00:41:07] Speaker B: No. And I've always said this, I am quite I hundred percent. I'm not like saying that the NHS aren't under any stress. I worked at that hospital. I understand. I've seen it from both sides. I've seen it from a patient side, seen it from a patient side, and I've seen it from a working side. And I understand like, how stressful is, but I felt so unsupported like, I left intensive care and then had a follow up with intensive care that they do. But like I've said, I felt like that was sort of like a data collecting thing because they were asking me a lot about the hallucinations that I had.
Can you tell us about any hallucinations that you had? And they were, like, looking at my nails because when you're, when you're induced into a coma, basically blood stops flowing to places in your body that aren't life saving. So she looked at my nail and I never noticed it before. And I've got my nails painted now, and you wouldn't see it because they've grown out, which is sad because it was two years ago, but basically I had this ridge in my nails where, like, I'll send you a picture later if I've got it, and maybe we can post it on, if I can find one. We post on the Instagram so people can see, yeah, it's a normal color of your nail. And then you can see two lines that just, like, stripe over your nail. And that part was where there was no blood going to my nails, so it was just like a different color.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:42:27] Speaker B: So it was a lot of, like, how much hair have you lost? Like, is your hair falling out? Are you finding everything that was physical with my body? And then, like, I did say, like, I broke down in that appointment and I was like, I'm so miserable. Like, I just don't think I've, I've got a lot more in me. Not always very common with people who have, have had sepsis and I, like, survive comas and everything, but, like, you're doing so much better in that. And that was basically it. Like, I had another appointment with orthopedics, which I fought for because I was like, this infection hasn't gone because I was still in pain and I was on crutches. I still couldn't do, like, long distances and everything.
I actually had to fight for that appointment. And then they did an x ray and were like, your hips are fine. They're just damaged.
And that was it. That's literally the only help I've received from the hospital, which is quite scary, really. And then I don't know if a lot of people know that you're allowed to request your hospital records, and I requested mine, and they are thick. Like, thick. And I was reading through them when this was when I was, like, learning at the hospital, so I could, like, gather a little bit more. Like, I could hear, I heard certain words throughout the day. And I thought, I recognize that word and, like, make sense of a little bit more. But on my emergency care, like, admissions form, one of the, like, house officers or whoever it was had written suspected sepsis question mark.
And then another thing said, like, sepsis and her new score was like, eight, which people will know, like, your new score being eight is really quite scary.
But they've never told Callum that they were suspecting sepsis, they never told Callum they think I might have it, or that they were treating me for it or thinking of starting to treat me for, which is quite bad, because then I spoke to another girl at the hospital who was like, she'd been a nurse for like, five years and she was like, if a patient is suspected sepsis, a relative has to know. And, like, the fact that they weren't, no one was told that because Callum was basically like, how's this happened? Like, she's gone from no one knowing anything to be induced into a coma and no one said to me, sepsis along the way.
[00:44:37] Speaker A: So interesting. And, you know, I guess, again, this is why I, you know, we're fighting so hard for people to have the confidence to. But if perhaps, say, in hindsight, obviously Callum would have known some of the symptoms and he would have gone, like, I might be completely on the wrong thing here, but, like, could you think it might be sepsis that might have given. Do you know what I mean?
[00:45:00] Speaker B: Like, I think that it's. Even. Even if he was told. Because I know what he's like, if he was told, oh, that we think that she might have sepsis. Like, we're suspecting it. He would have gone away and googled it and found out everything that he needed to know.
[00:45:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:14] Speaker B: Like, why isn't she receiving this? Why isn't she receiving that? Why?
But he was really on it with, like, people at the hospital. It was probably a nightmare, but rightly so, because, yeah, exactly.
[00:45:25] Speaker A: Like, you do what you have to for the people you love.
[00:45:28] Speaker B: If he. He was, like, going up to people, like, her medication was, sure at this time, why hasn't she had it? Like, people were like, well, we're really busy. And I was like, I don't care how busy you are, like, she has to have it at this time every day. Yeah, but, yeah, I think. I think the whole thing with the hospitals, like, it's just, like, not great.
[00:45:45] Speaker A: Bittersweet. Yeah, yeah.
[00:45:47] Speaker B: And, like, I just think it's quite neglectful and I just wish that, like, there was maybe a bit more support for people because then I remember, like, months later, when I was working at the hospital, I was talking to a sepsis nurse and, and she was basically saying, oh, like, I basically go over every patient who's had sepsis. So I thought, you've read mine. Then, like, I knew that she had. And she was like, because she was like, I'll go over every month and see where we could improve and everything.
And I sort of, like, said to her, oh, I had sepsis and everything, and she was just talking to me like she knew more than me. And, like, she, like, you know, you're, like, you don't know because although you're trained and you know everything, like, I've lived that and listening to me could give you some, like, really invaluable.
[00:46:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: Into things. And she was just not having any of it. I just. I do sometimes feel like with hospitals and that there's such a hierarchy problem where they think that if you're not a consultant doctor nurse, you don't really know a lot.
But even, like, world sepsis day, like we did, there was nothing. And I even asked, like, a couple of people don't work there anymore. But I messaged a few people that I know, and we're like, oh, I'd be really, really interested to, like, come and stand and speak to people. And, like, I feel like. I feel like I could give, like, a lot of value to that day. Nothing. Like, there's just nothing there.
[00:47:02] Speaker A: Such a shame, isn't it? Because, you know, we speak about how progressive, like, some, some things are and then other things. It's just, like, just can't fathom it, can you, how it's so well spoken of now. And, you know, it's not a mystery that it's, like, most people don't survive sepsis, and yet they're so reluctant to put any effort or care into it. It just blows my mind.
[00:47:29] Speaker B: Yeah. And I. It does upset me. And that's been, like, quite a thick, like, a big thing that I've had, like, of everything that I've had to, like, navigate and, like, the hurdles I've had to, like, jump over. Like, that's been one because it really. Do you know what I think? And this, like, this is the thoughts that, like, go through my head quite a lot. And I looked after elderly people, so unfortunately, to do end of life care a few times, and I just kept thinking, like, I had these visions of myself being, like, dying in hospital and then just being, like, taken to the Morgan mortuary or whatever it's called. Sorry. And that's it, like, that's just your life.
[00:48:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:10] Speaker B: And that's just, like, the final parts of your life over. And it's just, you know, it feels so, like, it's such a shame that we don't have more money. And I would actually fight for the NHS to be privatized. And we all pay in because it's too, like, these are people's lives that we're dealing with. Like, yeah, it's relatives and it's family. Like, it's people's family. And I think it's awful that we just. That's just it. That would have been my life over.
[00:48:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God that.
[00:48:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And I just want to say, like, there are some people that looked after me that were so amazing. Like, there's that video of me being moved onto the stretch of the beds for the MRI scan, surrounded by, like, maybe ten people.
And there's a lady, and she's, like, stroking my hair because I'm screaming in that video. They must have all thought, we have literally no idea what's wrong with this girl, but she's, like, stroking my hair, and she was, like, really lovely with me. So there are people that do really, really care. I just think that they're so stretched and underfunded. Yeah. They can't give everyone, like, the love that they need, which is so sad. But that's just a whole other thing in itself, isn't it?
[00:49:20] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I guess. Is there anything else you wanted to kind of add to finish up your story?
[00:49:28] Speaker B: I think so. I think it's just.
[00:49:31] Speaker A: And, you know, I guess that will, you know, now that we've said our story doesn't mean that, you know, like, me and Olivia both said that things come up that we don't remember or, you know, there's been multiple times we've been speaking about something and we're like, oh, my God. Yeah. Remember that? So, obviously, like, as we move on through episodes, there'll be things that we speak about and lots of stuff that we touch on again. But I just wanted to allow Olivia the space that she deserves to speak. And if there's anything else, babe, then.
[00:50:01] Speaker B: I don't think so. Like you said, we just go back into things, won't we? Like, even just talking about stuff like hair loss and how we've struggled with. Like, I've struggled a lot with my body image and things, but I think they're just conversations we can delve into at different time. I could talk forever about those, and.
[00:50:17] Speaker A: I think that, you know, we can do a whole episodes on, like, aesthetically struggling, you know, hair loss, body image, because obviously, it's not just for females, but I feel like, as a woman, it does feel like that's a big part of recovery. So I definitely like to touch on that and go into it.
That's something that we could look at doing for next episode.
[00:50:43] Speaker B: That's like a whole topic in itself. But, yeah, I think that the only thing that I would say is just, God, if that happened to me now, I would know straight away. And that's why I just always, always, always. And that's why even on my TikTok account, I just try to relay again and again the symptoms of sepsis.
[00:51:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:51:04] Speaker B: If having any of these symptoms, like, seek urgent medical help, because I would not wish what happened to me upon anyone, because it's been. I do sometimes wonder if I. If it was caught faster and I was just able to receive treatment in a way that wasn't so invasive and I didn't have to be on live sport, my outcome might be different and I might not have struggled so much. Because I think that, like, this, like I've always said, the sepsis is one thing, but then the comb is, like, a whole other thing, for sure.
[00:51:33] Speaker A: And I think it's really good for our listeners that they have both ends of the spectrum, because obviously, like, I can never even begin to imagine what being put into a coma's like on top of everything that you're already struggling with. And I think it's so important that, again, our stories are quite similar, but also so different in the fact that I had basically all of the common symptoms for sepsis, and you didn't until you were in hospital. So I think it's really nice that we have both ends of the story and very grateful for you being brave and sharing it with everyone.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you. And like you said, it just goes to show, doesn't it, that, like, one person could have every single symptom and the other person has one or number. Just remember what Ron said as well in that episode. One symptom is enough to ask. I think that people look at the list and think, oh, my gosh, I don't have. I don't have even half of these. And it's not about that if you've got one symptom, if you've got an infection or, God, because I didn't even know I had an infection, that hopefully most people will feel unwell to then think, okay, this seems to be getting worse. Have I got one of these symptoms, and if I have, I need to seek urgent medical care.
But, yeah, that's it, really. I don't think I've got a lot more to say about it, to be honest. I could go on about it for hours because there's, like, so much in that. In that big chunk of story. There's so many little avenues that I could go down, but just. I'd be here forever. No one wants that.
Okay. So, as always, I would just like to add a quote to the end of our podcast. I try to make the quote, like, as relatable to the podcast as possible. I found this one, and I really love this quote. I think it's so nice. So it goes. My suffering did not make me anything. I suffered. And then I made myself gentle and kind. I made myself strong, and I made myself good. And I really love that because I think it is true. You can. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and things will get better even if they don't feel like it right now. And, yeah, we just like to send a lot of love to our listeners, and thank you for listening.
And as always, if you've got any questions or you need to speak to us, like, we're always available, just message our Instagram page. And we've both got tiktoks that you can follow where we talk about our stories, so we'll just share all of that on our instagram. But, yeah, sending a lot of love to everyone. And I hope that you listened to this with kindness and openness and hope everyone's being gentle with themselves.
[00:54:16] Speaker A: Bye, guys.
[00:54:18] Speaker B: Bye, everyone.
